"Every woman is a little girl at heart, she's looking for the love of a father and if she has never experienced it, she cannot love you right [because she does not know how to]." Pretty heavy words, one might think right?
Well, I'm that little girl. I often find myself in situations where I shut my heart out completely to everyone because I feel as though they do not understand the void that's within me. I often don't know how to respond to people who show me affection because I've never received that affirmation from my biological father and its kinda sad at times because although the people might love/like me, I'm feel insulted by their interest in me.
Sometimes I feel like I should keep knocking on locked doors because only then I feel like I've made myself worthy of that persons love. Its like a guilty conscious I've got, in my head, I've convinced myself that if I do not work hard at making that person like me, I shouldn't have em to begin with.
One would swear I've got a twisted sense of loving but I don't know how to give what I've never received, I don't know how keep a man without worrying that he'll walk out and again I'd be convinced its my fault he left. I don't always know how to respond to overwhelming emotions of affection thus I require someone who will be patient enough to deal with my flaws...
No comments:
Post a Comment