a mother's lesson.

In my 19 years of existence I've come across an awful number of people who find me "out of touch with my emotions" some have gone as far as call me slightly heartless and I admit, its a little uncalled for. They don't know my story, they are observing from the outside and I can't blame them.

For me, its always been about the lessons that I didn't sit down over cup of latte with my mother that shape me. If anything, I find myself daring when it comes to how carry myself out...mentally and emotionally.

My mother never taught me how to love nor forgive, I figured it out along the path of existence. I mumble things, stumble here and there when it comes to matters of forgiveness and love and frankly, I'm doing relatively well. I tuck in whatever I don't wanna feel and throw tantrums whenever I need to express em.

No amount of education nor money could ever equip one [me] for these encounters. When I chose to be independent, I decided how I want to react and interact with such emotions and I find it utterly disrespectful for people to question my state of loving on the bases of how I want to display my lessons.

16 days of activism

So, we're back to the 16 days of activism against women and children abuse *long blank stare* seriously? Let me just recap on what happens every year at this particular time and for the next 14 days.

1. People act like the actually give a fudge about abused women and children.
2. South Africa spends money on creating ads that "create an awareness"
3. For 16 days, people who know nothing about abuse suddenly have an opinion.

Yeah, that's about it. I honestly still don't why all this waste of time and resources is necessary. As long as you've never been in position of abuse, you'll never fully understand people who are abused on a daily base. No amount of awareness and trash talk will influence an abuser to quit abusing people. It won't happen!

South Africa really needs to get over this obsession it has with patronizing women and trying to lift em up on some glass ground. Notice how its always "women this, women that?" Aren't they tired of always being the victims? Like seriously? What's with women and children that makes em the center of the universe? And konje who's against em in any case? Sure, we're all aware of the abuse rate in South Africa, we're also aware that seemingly the victims enjoy being victimized because no fully fleshed person would wanna hang around someone who mistreats em unless they feel as though they owe it to the person ill treating em...and well in most cases they silly women feel they deserve to be treated that way because "I love him"

So why do we bother. Why do we pause normal tv viewing with excruciating ads on how "I survived my abusive boyfriend" why do we even care about people don't mind playing small to someone else. Caring on their behalf won't make feel any more worthy of something better that what their living with.

I look forward to investing money in gambling institution.

cursed

People tend to refer to me as "insensitive" when I address issues regarding suicide and honestly I couldn't care less. I could never feel anything for anyone who takes his own life; Nothing! I mean, how inconsiderate can one be ye?

I find suicidal people self-centered and merely cowards. We all have issues that seem impossible to overcome but if we all decided to do away with our own lives, what lessons do we learn, how do you acquire a sense victory over anything?

I detest them. Hate em with every bone under my skin. My dad is actually the worst of the lot. Did he even consider his kids. The sooner people grasp the concept that "their lives is not their own," the sooner they'll learn that their actions subconsciously affect those that are around them. At the end of the day even the bible declares that "cursed is the man who hangs himself on a tree"

You are not a conqueror, you're a selfish pathetic excuse of a human being. Dare I say "rot in hell?" Yea, you don't deserve a "deserve a happily ever after"